Teenagers
by Serpentseeker
Summary: Worn out by a harsh mission, Gai doesn't protest when Kisame joins him at a bar. However, when Kisame suddenly announces his hate of teenagers, things get slightly more interesting. YAOI. ONESHOT.


Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.

xxxXxxx

"I hate teenagers," Kisame suddenly snarled with vehemence so strong that even Gai was startled. Wide-eyed he turned his head to look at the other man. Kisame had his lips pulled back in a hateful snarl, eyes glaring furiously into the rows of bottles behind the bar. The bartender took one look at him, squeaked and dove for the floor. In the mirror behind the bar Gai could see him curled in on himself, rocking and mouthing 'should've quit, should've quit, should've quit...'. Gai's lip-reading skills were just that good. The pathetic sight made his protective instincts swarm up to the surface, like Kisame's victims when they made the foolish mistake of challenging him on his home turf.

Without hesitation he reached out and clapped Kisame solidly on the shoulder, a move that sent the other man pitching forward. Eyes wider than Gai ever thought was possible, Kisame whipped his head around to stare at him in shock, even as the glass in his hand shattered. In hindsight Gai would agree that it was a foolish move, one that warranted at least two thousand laps around Konoha before sunset. However, it served its purpose. Kisame was no longer glowering at the bar - too busy gaping at Gai - and the bartender was slowly uncurling. Hmm, perhaps he could shave a couple of hundred laps off his punishment?

"Do not be so resentful, my friend!" Gai announced to half the bar. "For teenagers are fickle creatures, ones we must admire! They are blooming in the springtime of youth!"

Kisame's mouth fell open. For a moment he just sat there, looking as shocked as he would be if someone slapped in the face with a stunned mullet. Then he blinked, shut his mouth and then quirked his lips up in a half grin.

Gai eyed him suspiciously - amusement, when he had not intended to cause it, was suspicious. It had to be investigated. But before he had got past the opening-his-mouth-and-starting-a-sentence stage, Kisame took notice and chuckled. And then he explained.

"That last sentence probably has half the bar thinking you're a pedophile," he murmured, flagging the bartender for a drink to replace the glass he shattered. As the bartender scuttled to obey Gai sat there in disbelief. Then, discretely, he raised his eyes to the mirror. Many fellow patrons were eyeing his back with expressions of deep suspicion, especially the middle aged women.

"W-what?" he stuttered out, even though stuttering was a horrible habit, one that had to be worked on to be rid of. A hundred extra laps!

"Hmmm?" Kisame murmured, seemingly placated now that he had another drink. He glanced up at Gai when no reply was forthcoming. And grinned. Seeing Maito Gai with that sort of expression - outrage, disgust, shock, horror all mixed in with a pinch of hurt for taste - was akin to winning the lottery to torture the latest prisoner for information. Hidan had won the last three times, lucky shit. Although he had allowed Kisame to help on the last one...Maybe Hidan wasn't so bad. Maybe this Jashin guy was worth looking in to, as well.

"Problem?" he drawled languidly.

Slowly Gai turned to look at him. "How could any one think that?" he said at a near whisper. "Th-that's horrible! How can people feel that way about teenagers? Its -"

"You're placing them on a pedestal," Kisame growled, reaching for his drink. Gone was the happy, relaxed buzz. Now he just felt discontent, like the feeling he got when he wanted dearly to just kill someone, but he had to play nice. He always loathed that feeling and the situations that created it. To compensate he took a big gulp of his drink and relished the burn.

Beside him Gai was blinking rapidly. The expression that had amused Kisame so much was fading and being replaced with the look people wore when they were approaching a realisation. That look always made him want to run. Run to the nearest body of water and dive in. Then swim, until his muscles burned and the hated feeling was gone.

"Kisame-san, why must you be so harsh on teenagers? We must pity them for they are facing many trials as they bloom."

"I hate them. End of story," Kisame bit out. The bartender slowly sank to the floor.

"You were one once," Gai reminded him gently. Eagerly he waited for some sort of softening in the other man's features, some sign that Gai was getting through to him. Instead he got a narrow-eyed stare.

"Yeah, and if I had to face myself as a teenager now I'd probably kill me." Then, suddenly, Kisame's face grew blissful. "Mmmm, killing teenagers. They're the best to kill you know," he added, glancing over at Gai's outraged face. "They last longer than children. Gives you time to play with them. And less effort involved than with adults." He drew in a ragged, blissed-out sigh, unmindful of Gai who was practically quivering on his barstool with outrage.

"How -" Gai began in a voice so anger-filled that it was barely above a whisper. However it inspired no fear in Kisame, unlike everyone else who had heard it. Instead Kisame's straightened himself to his full height while sitting on the barstool.

"Don't forget I'm part of the Akatsuki. I had to do terrible things to be able to join and I look back at them all with fondness. I'm not one of you pathetic Konoha ninja, so easily manipulated into feeling regretful," Kisame managed to hiss out in his rage.

Still Gai was unmoved. Kisame's face twisted into a horrible sneer that sent shivers dancing up and down Gai's spine. As Kisame began to lean over him, he found himself leaning back, even after he noticed what he was doing.

"I'm not a nice person," Kisame whispered, breath hot on Gai's face. "I kill and I enjoy it. That's what's kept me alive. That's what's kept me from losing my mind - or the part that matters, anyway. Do not forget that you made the choice to come and drink with me. I have tried to kill you, you have tried to kill me and after tonight we'll do the whole fucking thing again. Either shut up about teenagers or accept that not everyone finds them as wonderful as you."

The last part was hissed out so venomously, Gai fancied it was digging into his skin, deep through muscle and fat and bone until it finally joined his bloodstream and infected his entire being. He sucked in a much needed breath and turned his head away. Right now he couldn't even look at Kisame. Even though the man's views were so twisted, even though his entire mindset was fixed around hatred and violent, even though the man had tried to harm Gai's precious people, Gai was still affected by him. Gai still cared.

_So this it was it feels like to be devoured alive_, he thought.

Finally he managed to gather the strength to look over at Kisame. He was hunched over his drink, rocking slightly on his seat. His eyes were fixed hatefully on the mirror above the bar.

Right now Gai knew he should just go. Just get up and walk out, leave this entire night behind him. That way no one would get hurt. Including Kisame. But curiosity burned had him, bubbling up until he had to ask or do something completely potential dangerous.

"Kisame-san," he began and watched Kisame blink in surprise. "Why do you hate them so much?"

As Gai anxiously watched, Kisame, tensed, hunched and stared down at his drink. Unchecked, various emotions flickered over his face - shame, humiliation, defiance, pride...the list went on and on. Gai watched in fascination. Spending so much time around fellow shinobi meant he never really saw variations of emotions. Anger, pride, amused and defiance were the limit mostly. Now feeling slightly better, Gai fixed his gaze on Kisame's face, waiting - _praying _- for an answer. An honest answer.

Finally Kisame sighed and turned his head away, so that Gai couldn't see his face.

"Slept with one once. Some pretty little masochist that bitched about me leaving marks afterwards. Bitched about my scars, bitched about my weapons, bitched about the fact that she couldn't show me off to her friends because I didn't resemble the pretty-boys they idolised."

Gai opened his mouth to say something before he realised there was nothing to say except meaningless platitudes. He shut it again with an audible click and Kisame went on.

"And boys are no better with their endless pissing contests and lack of responsibility. And before you say that I'm one to talk, I do take responsibility. I -"

"I wasn't going to say that," Gai said softly. Kisame finally turned back to look at him and for a moment Gai thought he could detect a hint vulnerability mixed in with the surprise. Then both vanished to be replaced with a bland expression.

"Good," Kisame said simply and returned to gulping down his drink. Gai pressed his lips together and stared down at his drink. His mind began to buzz as he tried to think of something would get the conversation started again. One by one the scenarios were rejected and the silence dragged on. This was unacceptable in Gai's mindset; a drink between two men at a bar was a sociable time, during which both could relax and enjoy themselves, even if they were on different sides. He'd worry about that later, while running his laps. The burn of muscles, the harsh way his breath came out all helped him think. He did all his deep pondering while running laps.

Gai was a very thoughtful person.

Idly he glanced over at Kisame who now looked completely drained, as though he had gotten rid of not only everything that made him resentful and angry, but all his joy and sense of purpose. Before he could stop himself, Gai found himself gnawing on his lip. Had he depressed the other man that badly? He hadn't meant to but one lesson he'd learned was that curiosity often got someone hurt, even if the entire affair was entered with good intentions.

It was then Gai found himself winging it - _doesn't always end that well, fifty more laps_. Without any trace of hesitation he reached out and clapped Kisame solidly on the shoulder. As the other man simultaneously choked and pitched forward, Gai flashed his trademark grin, a move that had Kisame staring at him disbelievingly.

"Fear not! For teenagers may not be able to appreciate the beauty of hard muscle and scars, but it doesn't mean others can't! They are still blooming in the springtime of YOUTH!" After shocking the entire bar, Gai drew in a deep breath. And then continued in a softer tone. "Don't let them get to you. They're still sorting everything out."

Thus, with his bit said, Gai happily returned to his drink. He wasn't expecting anything from Kisame but after three minutes exactly - he'd been keeping an eye on the clock to ensure he wasn't out too late - the man's uncharacteristic stillness made him wonder if Kisame was all right. It wasn't the normal stillness, where movement betrayed the discipline. It was complete and utter stillness as thought someone had hit Kisame with some sort of freezing jutsu.

Wide-eyed he glanced over, but as he did, Kisame's slightly shocked expression transformed itself into something Gai didn't like. At all. It was calculating. It was amused. It was calm. It made Gai want to run. But that would be against his entire way of life - he needed a more dignified exit. So instead he leapt up from his stool and shifted automatically into his trademark pose, grinning widely.

"Thank you for your company!" he boomed. Quickly he placed his money on the counter and then turned to hightail it out of there. In a fabulous fashion, of course. Behind him Kisame watched him for a few short seconds with a smirk on his face. Then he drained his glass, slammed the money down and prowled after his drinking partner.

xxxXxxx

Gai was halfway to the hotel when he sensed he had a stalker. This was quite a dilemma; should he turn and fight or should he wait for them to make the first move? The problem was quickly solved when he recognised the chakra signature which the other person hadn't even tried to mask.

"Kisame-san."

"At your service," he growled back, voice dripping with amusement. Said man stepped out of the shadows and took his time walking up to Gai. Then, to Gai's complete and utter shock, he reached out and placed his palm flat against Gai's stomach. While Gai alternatively stared and tried to calculate possible reasons for this move, Kisame dropped his head to stare at the ground. The little that Gai could see of his face was thoughtful, the sort that meant the owner was considering his options, carefully weighing them against each other in order to reach a solution that would both work and make himself happy. Gai had seen that look many times on many faces.

Suddenly Kisame lifted his head and locked eyes with Gai. His mouth formed a cocky smirk. "You'll do," he announced. That was the only warning Gai got before he found himself slammed against the nearest wall with Kisame plastered against his front. There was a half-second where Kisame just looked at him, face devoid of any significant emotion; then suddenly the other man was kissing him.

For a moment Gai could only stand there, too shocked to even react. But then he became aware of the fact that he didn't really mind. It had been so long since anyone had been with him like this; most were scared off by his looks and mannerisms and after time Gai went against one of his principles and just gave up, devoting his time to his pupils and his missions instead.

And that was how Gai found himself kissing back. It was a rather painful affair with Kisame's teeth and disregard for the welfare of his partner's lips. Gai spent many moments trying to pick his way around them until he finally realised that simply wasn't possible. That was all right - he could deal with pain as minor as this and besides it would remind him of why he was punishing himself while running his laps.

This carried on for quite awhile, until Kisame got bored with the slow progress and pulled back. He looked at the mangled lips and smirked; then he growled out, "mine or yours?"

To his disappointment, Gai only blinked before replying, "yours."

"Right," was all Kisame said before turning and taking off, Gai close behind.

The rush of cool air and burn of muscles helped Gai clear his head as he flanked Kisame. The logical part of his mind was screaming at him to just walk away. Normally he would listen to this part of his mind but it had been so long...He began to weaken to the tiny part of his mind that was coming up with many suggestions of what he and Kisame could do together. He choked slightly, even as he began to seriously consider them.

He was just pondering the merits of biting when he saw Kisame disappear into a window. Without hesitation he altered his course and in seconds he was in the hotel room. It was sparsely decorated - two beds, a bedside table and a dusty mirror hanging on the wall. Quickly Gai checked out his escape options if things went bad. The door wasn't too far and there was no sign of a trap. The window was open and wide enough to escape out of easily. Excellent. He was about to see if he could remember the way back when he was slammed against the nearest wall. Kisame pressed in close, a devious smirk on his lips and in his eyes.

"You think too much," Kisame informed him matter-of-factly before slamming his lips against Gai's a resuming the process of mangling the delicate skin. Gai allowed this for exactly five seconds before grabbing the other man's face and turning it slightly. Happily he began to nip at the skin along the length of Kisame's jaw. He had a slight fetish for jaws.

Kisame let out a soft laugh but didn't protest, quite happy to let himself rest against Gai and have his jaw molested. This made Gai very happy and he molested the jaw for quite some time. Then he moved down slightly. Kisame lifted his head to give him better access which was just what Gai wanted. In one quick move he had Kisame pinned against the wall. Before the man could react badly Gai continued his happy exploration and settled comfortably against the hard body before him. Kisame allowed this all - the benefits of complying far out-weighed the benefits of protesting.

However, after awhile this all grew rather boring for Kisame. Gai's face was somewhere in his clavicle and he was showing no sign of doing something for interesting for quite awhile. Grinning Kisame considered his plan. He had to move quickly and that he managed - in one short move he had pushed the two of them away from the wall. In the split second before Gai could do anything, Kisame hooked his foot around an ankle and sent the tumbling onto the nearest bed. Which happened to be Itachi's.

Kisame had to admit he was interested in how his partner would react.

But that was awhile away. First he had to deal with Gai who was staring up at him thoughtfully. He still looked alert which wasn't quite what Kisame wanted but at least the god-awful bowl cut was rather mangled.

"Do you really think you can get me off by staring at me?" Kisame drawled out and grinned as Gai looked embarrassed. But then the dark eyes narrowed in consideration and Kisame felt briefly afraid. And then Gai was lunging up at him and everything after that everything was a blur of tongues and teeth and hard muscle and pleasure.

Excellent.


End file.
